Carry On (Fangirl fanfic)
by collaborate.fmc
Summary: Cather Avery is in her second year of college, and who knows what the year has in store for her?
1. Chapter 1

"Oh, my God," Reagan groaned. "Spare me the drama."

Cath looked down at her clothing options, spread out on her bed. Jeans, Carry On shirt, and a thick, olive-green sweater that Wren had gotten her as a random gift. I GO TO WATTFORD was printed across the front in bold, black text.

"What?" Cath crossed her arms defensively over her chest and looked over at Reagan, who was dressed in a fitted black top and dark jeans, shaking her hair out in front of the mirror. "Is something wrong?"

"You're going to wear THAT on your first day of your second year of college? Isn't the new year a time to start over? You know, fresh?"

Cath rolled her eyes at Reagan's back. "Not everyone looks like a French film star."

"Dang right, they don't." Reagan uncapped her slender tube of lipstick and touched up the corners of her lips.

Cath snorted. Ever since September, Reagan's mom had forced her to stop cursing. At all. Which made Reagan sound like a person living in the deep South.

Reagan rolled her eyes back at Cath and tossed her hair over her shoulders, grabbing for her purse. "Well, I'm out. Don't come complaining to me if someone abuses you about your seven-year-old clothing choices." Reagan pointed her index finger warningly at Cath and left, the door clicking shut behind her.

Cath blew out an exasperated sigh and glanced back at the clothes laid out over her thick sheets. Her eyes slowly traveled to her laptop- a new one, better and faster, that her dad had gotten her last spring. ("For your studies," he had said). Then her eyes moved to her busts of Baz and Simon, the cutouts, and the posters. Which brought Cath's mind to _Carry On, Simon._

She had finished it.

Those words sounded strange in Cath's mind. All of this time, she had imagined finishing Carry On in wrenchingly perfect ways- Baz, sacrificing himself for Simon to live- them walking into the sunset- them living happily ever after. But now that Cath had actually finished it, the hits over fifty-five thousand, she felt weird. Strange. Like nothing was tying her down.

Cath shook the thought out of her mind. (She actually shook her head). She quickly changed into the clothes and glanced briefly in the mirror. Glasses. Sloppy bun. Jeans. Simon tee, Simon sweater.

Cath looked the exact same as she had last year.

Except… except. Except, Cath didn't feel the same. She and Wren were back, locking their schedules tightly around each other. Unbreakable.

Cath had a real boyfriend. (Sorry, Abel). A boyfriend that she had kissed. That she _liked._ Levi. The thought made Cath's heart glow, as if it had lit up.

Thinking about this made Cath reach for her phone. She scrolled down her list of

contacts, finding Wren quickly. Even though Wren lived just down the hall from Reagan and Cath, Cath assumed that Wren would still be sleeping. Even so, she sent her a message, texted Levi quickly, and left a voicemail for her dad, then tucked her phone into her bag and headed to her first class.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own these characters. Rainbow Rowell does. Reviews appreciated :) thanks

CHAPTER TWO

When Cath got back, she was starving. Her stomach felt like it was cramping up on itself and burning all the way up to her throat. She unlocked the door to her room. Reagan wasn't there, though there was a stack of books on the side of her messily made bed that hadn't been there before. Cath opened a box of protein bars under her bed- even though she was eating at the dining hall with Reagan, it was always helpful to have these.

She grabbed a Blueberry Bliss- this always brought her back to the thoughts of Levi- took her phone, and crawled to the corner of her bed. Wren had texted her back- "i'll see you in the dining hall 4 dinner w/ you & reagan?" and there were no voicemails or missed calls from her dad. Expectedly.

Cath texted Wren back and snatched up her laptop from where it sat at the end of her bed. She idily paged through the enormous amounts of comments on her last chapter of _Carry On_ while chewing the protein bar.,

"Hey, Cath."

Cath's head jerked up to see Levi, leaning against the doorway- he wore a flannel shirt and jeans, his hair swept up sloppily as always.

"Levi!" Cath yelped- and then immediately felt stupid about yelping. She forced herself not to fling herself into Levi's arms- she shut her laptop and pushed it away. "I thought that you weren't coming back until-"

"Thursday, I know." Levi pushed his fingers through his hair and grinned at her. The warmth didn't touch his eyes.

Cath felt her stomach take a plummeting swoop. Levi wasn't grinning? Something was obviously up. She cleared her throat. "Hey. Are you okay?"

"I'm great." Levi slumped forwards into the chair facing Cath's bed (at least, in Cath's mind, he slumped). He smiled again at her. "Listen. I don't want to talk about me. How are you?"

Cath frowned at him. "Levi. Are you all right?"

"Cath. Of course I am." He kicked her bed- Cath could feel it wobbling beneath her.

Cath felt her frown deepen. "I'm not going to give it up until you tell me what's up." She leaned forwards and grabbed Levi's hands in her own- his fingers felt smooth as she curled hers around them. He looked down at their intertwined hands and sighed, looking up at the waterstained ceiling. His throat dipped as he swallowed. "I- my uncle- he has cancer. Brain cancer. Big tumor." Levi's voice was rough, like two rocks grating together. "He- he's not been doing well for a while, and he hasn't seen a doctor... he's been given a month to live, and if he dies, the ranch-" Levi's voice cracked and he pressed his palms into his forehead.

Cath's whole body tensed up- she reached out and wrapped her arms tightly around Levi. His hair tickled her cheek. It smelled like coffee. "Levi- I am so sorry-"

Levi raised one hand to grip the back of her neck. "Cather. You shouldn't worry about me, okay?" He leaned back, giving her a halfhearted smile. "I'll get through this. I mean, I have to, don't I?"

Cath swallowed. "Not on your own."

Levi raised one perfectly arched eyebrow, but didn't speak- instead, he grabbed her laptop and slid it into Cath's hands. "Read to me, sweetheart."

"Will it make you feel better?"

"Yes." Levi kicked her bed. "And it will make you feel better, too."

Cath half-opened her laptop and gave him a wary look. "Levi- are you-"

"I'm _fine._ " Levi grabbed her wrists, fingers circling around them. "If you're fine, them I'm great. More than great. I'm bouncing off of walls, okay, sweetheart?" He smiled again at her- tired, but genuine. A little bit of relief seeped into Cath's stomach- reluctantly, she opened her laptop all the way. "The last chapter of _Carry On?_ "

"Sure."

"Okay..." Cath opened it up. "Are you ready?"

Levi set her on his lap, jostling her around, and feathered a kiss against her hair. "Yep."

"All right." Cath propped her glasses in her hair and snuck a peek at Levi- he had leaned back, eyes closed. "So... this is right after the final battle." Cath cleared her throat and looked down at the words.

Baz was kneeling on the ground, his hair hanging around him, face bloody and smeared with grime, his shirt tattered. Simon could only assume that he looked worse. He swallowed and touched Baz hesitantly on the shoulder. "Baz?"

Baz looked up, his eyes full of something that Simon couldn't name. "What?" He repeated it. "What, Snow?"

Simon looked up at the ashy, grey sky and back down to Baz's eyes. The eyes that he had hated, that he had loathed, that he had adored, that he had admired, that he had loved.

Loved.

"It's going to be all right," Simon said, voice gentle. He was aware of Penelope, somewhere, and Agatha too... but for now, it was only him and Baz. Simon knelt by him- their foreheads were nearly touching, their hair and breath mingling.

Baz closed his eyes. "Of course it's going to be all right, Snow. You think that I don't know?"

Simon forced a laugh- his forehead thudded softly against Baz's, and Baz opened his eyes. Simon felt the movement on his cheeks, the flutter of Baz's long eyelashes. Simon felt his heart contract and let his hands drift up to glide over Baz's cheeks, holding him gently in place.

Baz raised one hand to grip Simon by the back of the neck, fingers tangling in Simon's hair. Simon closed his eyes and let himself drift forwards until their lips touched. Baz's fingers instantly tightened in Simon's hair, drawing Simon down- Simon let out a gasp of surprise as he nearly overbalanced. Baz tasted like fire and blood and char and water and hardships, the hardships that they had had to overcome.

Together.

"Always," Baz whispered, lips moving against Simon's cheek. "Simon, we will always carry on."

Cath let her head fall back, thudding against Levi's chin.

"That's it?" Levi whispered.

Cath nodded.

"It's..." Levi looked down at Cath and his face suddenly broke open into a smile, face glowing. "Cather, it's perfect."


End file.
